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YC&AC, Sun 29th January. YCAC Dressing Room. 20 minutes to KO.
The suddenly tough to beat Jetro are a big red machine with its motor beginning to hum as it warms up menacingly a mere 20 yards away. Daisuke hasn't made it off the park bench so its looking like the home team will only have 10 starters. Star midfielder Anthony Savage, 1 of the 10, is acting very strangely, unless he has been drinking vodka red bulls for 6 straight hours, in which case, bulging eyes and bouncing off walls would be less of a worry. Things are expected of new boy Suyama. For one, he's expected to play as there will only be 9 if he doesn't.
The anxiety in the dressing room eases perceptably as Joe lets on that his mate played for Japan U17s. The optimism doesn't last long, though, as it transpires that it was 10 years ago and he hasn't played 11 a side since, nor, it would appear, has he eaten since. Still, Joe is rarely wrong about these things and even if a gust carries him off into Yokohama Bay, the Seconds will have finished their match by then and replacements will be available. Suyamas English is as reliable as Daisukes alarm clock and he looks a little nervous as the fires are being put out all around him. "Don't worry" Joe tells him. "Keep an eye on Phil Denham. If he moves then follow him. It means its half-time"
With all this going on the Manager has to decide who has the unenviable task of replacing the irreplacable, and unavailable, Gary Hodgson in the YCAC goal. Gavin Margetson, who has played a bit in his youth, been psyching himself up for the task all week, is confident and raring to go, or, Kevin Morgan who quite likes the look of the clubs new 30 quid Uhlsport gloves.
The Skipper goes with Kevins fashion sense. 80 minutes later and its YCAC 3 Jetro 0. A clean sheet for Kev and a hat trick for Gav. And they call Mourinho the Special One.
Spending his childhood in the boot of a car, Gav has had his difficulties settling in to the somewhat intellectual atmosphere of the YCAC dressing room. Lacking basic people skills, pace, ball control, bowel control, a left foot and friends, Gav has sought comfort from a blanket and by regressing to the happier days of his youth. Having your hub caps knicked in the YCAC car park by a 30 year old in white trainers and navy trackie pants who thinks hes Robbie Fowler just wears a bit thin though after a while. He'll be happy now, though. The goals will surely result in great strides being made in therapy
In fact, everybodys happy, with the possible exception of the Jetro players and YCAC Left Back, at least for the 1st 10 minutes of every game, Nick McDonald,who is an Ar*enal fan.Tim Miller was the lucky stiff to be chosen 11th man and got to play 160 consecutive minutes of TML footy, the pitch was flat.... no, really, must have been the snow....,the sun shone throughout and Kazu reffed efficiently and good naturedly. New boy Suyama proved a popular addition to the squad and was unlucky not to score. Kev was faultless between the sticks and looked really fetching in the gloves, in fact the whole ensemble suited him.
All in all it was Gav's day, though. A crashing header from Anthony's cross, a low drive after a penalty area scramble and a tap in after Anthony had very cleverly disguised a knock back from Joe's cross fooling everybody into thinking he was trying to shoot. The 1st hat trick by a YCAC player in more than a year will no doubt give hope to Gav that he will make it into the 1st team squad again this week. Hope, too, amongst his long suffering team mates that Gav will remember that he forgot to buy the celebratory jugs in all the excitement. You could cut the Yokohama air with a knife going into this weekends cup game against the Barbarians.
Report - S Taw
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