|
Shimo Takaido, Sunday 21st February.
Alas.Sala. Bon sport, trop snob. Enough word games. (If yr in a hurry skip the first three paragraphs here.) FC International 3, Sala nil. (Transition word.) This is tough to write. What with Roddy Charles' legacy of stellar match reporting, and Scott T's fine writing form it's intimidating. I should also mention that Gary Quin's reports were awesome, esp. that one he wrote using the made-up language from Clockwork Orange. I'm sure Sid's head was itching. On the downside, I strongly dislike it when writers hide behind the third person. It's not publish or perish guys! How about pubish or peelish? (Nonsense!) I have found my poetic voice, but how to use it in sports journalism?
TML is a funny creature: everybody takes it all seriously, from third division captains who berate keepers for mistakes, to has beens who played professionally, semi-professionally, for their national teams and so on, to those who could be upcoming J2-sters, but for some reason need TML to boost their puffed-up egos. I am not complaining, it's fun! I, arafo, way under 6 foot four, love making a save from Jorge or Sukui, it boosts my own blossoming ego. Sukui played pro in Spain, and for some reason studied at Lincoln, Nebraska. Before the game, he was all over me in this embrace which i couldn’t get out of. Trying to soften me up buddy, huh? Yes, Man! He boasts about his accomplishments like an academic or poet writing his bio in the third person. (Transition word) I remember one Brit TML team put in an ad in Metropolis seeking a former pro goalkeeper. Good luck. Woah, we take our footy majibaby.
Before getting to the point, let me continue going on tangents, my fortay (sic). Since the beginning of this year, Sala's been in great form. Best of the rest in the Footy's Sevens, where we dispatched BFC's team, and then later regular season, we beat them again, so we took out the whole club. Four games' winning streak, made Stu feel like streaking!
Our plan was to be so aggressive as to make them complain at each other. It ended up the other way around, more bitching than a baker's dozen of Ged O'Connels, that Vagabond vocalist. It was a weird game in that they didn’t really dominate us and yet we didn’t raise our level of intensity. We gave them heaps of free kicks and one of Jorge's floated between myself and the line, but somehow Guido headed it away to the side where one of theirs, on the right side, left unmarked and the talented striker went across and scored away from the near post, which i may have committed to. It was well-taken and deserved.
One of their tactics was to call everything offside and it worked. Unfortunately we weren’t as petty as that and we didn’t reciprocate either cuz we're just too gentlemanly, or Scotty's head was still reeling from 18-hours' flight from Scot, uh, Land. When I saw him on the lines wearing a "Fair Play" bib Ishivered in existential angst. Anyway, Imis-timed a bounce of a cross lobbed over our defenders, and with Sukui rushing on, and me out of the pic, all he had to do was set up his mate, offsides or not, 2-0, still first half. Still, as ref Pietro told me after the game, Buffon did that once too, so hey. My bad anyway.
We had a few chances when our free kick troubled their hard hands of a keeper, bobbling out, dinking it around, only for Toby or was it Peter to miss, uh oh! ("Everybody makes mistakes, even me, just be free”. — New Order.) Then Shige (he has no hige) hit the crossbar. Vaguely, the visage at half-time of "GL" showed a blasé disgust which was as uplifting as a salary man dressed in black on a subway. Bad Brains quote: "ehhh, we got that PMA," fast guitar solo.
Their third goal at the end of the second half i don't remember, cuz after a fairly good one-on-one save I made, One of the bustling FC Int strikers trailed his boot making contact with my head, in other words, he kicked my noggin'! Trying to Petr Cech me out huh? Nice one sporty fellow! (Exclamation points rock!!!!)
OK, Igotta join my geriatric friends at the local sekotsu-in for my massage followed by the jacuzzi, if i can remember where it is.
Player of the Match: Ian, the only one who played his kokoro out
Report by Taylor Mignon
|
