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Fukuda Denshi, Sunday 4th April.
Sala did the league and cup double on the Celts mainly through hard work, solidarity and 3 duff goals from set pieces. Sweet was the victory, but sweet the goals were definetely not. 3-0 to Sala was the final score after close range nods and sclaffs from Dan (2yds), Masa (8yds) and Sam (6yds). The solidarity was in each players commitment to not score a good goal and to not out-do his brother in arms.
Wily Lenny started the game with a first touch through ball to a Celts' striker but, fortunately, their cut back went astray. Sala then started to get into their stride, going forward with good hold up play from their strikers, Stu and Sam.
The first corner saw Stu hit the target with a header which was cleared off the line only for Dan 'The Cobra' Bard to nod home the rebound from all of 2 yards. The man is truly on fire this month, and deadly when confronted with an open goal from one or two yards.
1-0 Sala.
The game ebbed and flowed for the next 20 minutes as the Celts tried to play on the deck, and Sala constantly harangued them all over the pitch, counter attacking swiftly whenever they won the ball back.
The second telling blow came when Stu won a free kick near the box and Lenny stepped up hoping to rifle his newly-purchased World Cup Jubilani ball into the top corner. But he didn't. The ball deflected off the wall and as the Celts' back line dithered, again, a karate kick from Masa that Daniel La Russo and Mr Miyagi would have been proud of (especially Mr Miyagi as he's older and frailer) sent the ball arcing in a somewhat drifty manner into the net.
2-0 Sala. Not a classic but better than Dan's as it drew parallels to a classic eighties movie.
With big bad Brian Harlow dominating the Sala goal mouth and any Celt silly enough to challenge for a corner, Sala went in at halftime with a comfortable lead.
In the second half there was more of the same with Sala maintaining their good shape, Guido and Scotty playing strong across the middle and Masa, Sam and Ryotaro doing most of Sala's good work going forward. The Celts were dominating possession though, and it was at this point that Clarkey, leading from the sidelines, changed Sala's formation. The change worked, and shorlty afterwards one Sala move led to Guido driving a long range shot off the post, and then shortly after, putting a side-footed volley off the bar from a corner. To say that the Celts were looking vulnerable at set pieces would be akin to saying that you occassionaly meet naughty girls in Roppongi. And to say that Guido was unlucky not to score would be......well, an understatement.
At the other end, Pete McGill came close for the Celts after a really nice move before Sala's master tactician, Clarkey, subbed himself on at centre back and within the first second slipped on his arse like Bambi on ice, putting Henry straight through on goal for the Celts. With the goal at his mercy and a scoreline of 2-1 looking certain Ian produced the tackle of the century, nay the millenium, to deny the Celts at the last second. Total belter! And you should have seen the size of the hole in his knee afterwards. That's commitment for ye! 'We love The Bear' chanted the crowd!
Another set piece then caused havoc in the Celts' box and this time it was Sam who pinched the ball off Clarkeys toe to sclaff a scuffy duffy shot into the Celts' net. 3-0 Sala. A truly communist finish totally in tune with the earlier strikes of The Cobra and Masa. Obviously, Sam thought Clarkey was going to cover himself in Capitalist glory by thundering the ball home and that's why he pinched it off his toe. Fine work from Red Sam.
With a dramatic comeback looking unlikely anyway, all hope was extinguished for the Celts when Harlow produced a brilliant save down low to deny Henry after a fabulous chest and bicycle kick on the edge of the 6 yard box.
Man Of The Match - Sam Matthews. A constant pain in the arse...........for the Celts.
Sinner Of The Match - Me. For this match report.
Report by Scotticus Thelonius Thomsonus
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