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Hachioji Park, Saturday 22nd May.
After months of scoreless incubation the Vag’s chrysalis emerged against British Embassy as a beautiful six-goal butterfly. The weather warm, but not hot, the air moist but not muggy, Steve Glenn’s controversial email before the game…who knows nature’s trigger? And who cares? The Embassy had two goals but they were both consolations.
The first sniff of the ball and Ged O’ Connell took off like a coyote for the one-two down the line, leaving Richard Straughan hoarse. He entered into the box and there lost the scent, but the ball came across for Muzzy who nearly scored. It looked certain Muzzy would score first and in the end he didn’t score at all but he did set the course, like when Ken Tsurumi escaped from a ring of opponents with the outside of the boot nutmeg he does so well and out of nothing put him through on goal but the offside flag went up. Others too but with so many goals to get through forgive me skipping over the misses.
The movement of the ball by the midfield was as delicate as calf’s sweetbread; Ken and Paul Wadsworth, at the best I’ve seen them, seemed to bring out the best in those around them. Even Lyndsey Hughes looked like a decent player.
The Embassy were deprived of any foothold until Vags had a goal; a wide free kick came in high at the back post from Tsurumi, was knocked down and before anyone else could react Wadsworth glided past and flicked it home, cool as you like. In sporting fashion the Vags sat back to give the Embassy a short spell of chances that, alas, bore them no fruit.
Soon after coming on, Nick Harris who plays like Takuma, made it to the byline and hit his cross low, passing the goal inches out, and beating everyone until Wadsworth materialized on the opposite wing and sent it back into the net, first time, from the tightest angle that brings to mind slivers of lambs liver.
It would be very useful for a foreigner who can’t read the language to know how to say “smattering” in Japanese when visiting a yakitori restaurant. I’m sure Wadsworth knows it. Or else bring Wayne Baxter along who can read most of the offal.
2-0 at halftime.
Shortly into the second half Darren Russell scored a goal that seemed to unfold in slow motion, it was that inevitable. A drawing cross sent in by deadball specialist Hughes, and while everyone else imagined they might get a head on it, Russell knew he would, up from defense trotting then walking then a little run just to help liftoff and …have you seen him head a ball? Have you seen him eat chunks of piglet’s heart? Chicken breast with tarragon?
Here the embassy got an important goal to keep their morale and the quality of the game up. Dead center outside the box a free kick took a bounce in front of Grahame who fumbled and allowed a poacher to score the rebound.
It was back to business at the other end right away. Somebody rescued a long ball at the corner flag and lobbed it to nearby Wadsworth who volleyed a high cross to the back past where Nick arrived with his head to score the fourth.
The fifth was a heavily salted triangle of kidney. There is a line between the halfway mark and the box at Hachioji park. From there Ken unleashed, with his bad foot (I hear tell) a blood-soaked skewer that landed in the top corner, and a burp of satisfaction. The stuff of legends.
One for the Embassy then. Glenn slipped inside the box then Russell or O’Connell was skillfully beaten and a stylish finish that was worthy of this game. But that was their swan song. When the score becomes six, you start thinking of eggs, yakitori, nama-chu. Hughes put that nail in the coffin, steaming through the middle, after Nick unselfishly (foolishly the wits were saying) made a dummy and with three parts turf, one part ball, the veggie placed his shot wide of the keeper and I remembered the words he said to me once when I scored a goal “bet that doesn’t happen too often Quinny.”
Halleluiah. Joy to the world.
Report by Gary Quinn
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